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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23705404">Carry Me Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikoiku/pseuds/Kikoiku'>Kikoiku</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(well...kinda), As well as summaries, Comforting, Dealing With Trauma, Detroit Evolution, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Reed900, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Detroit Evolution, Soft Gavin Reed, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed, i still suck at tagging</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:54:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23705404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikoiku/pseuds/Kikoiku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two weeks had passed since the incidents with Ada, and Nines had been acting strangely. When he wakes up one night in a panic, Gavin has some comforting to do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>223</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Carry Me Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a fanfic to Octopunkmedia's Reed900-Fanfilm Detroit Evolution. It's been up for almost a week now, so if you haven't watched DO IT.</p><p>Enjoy!<br/>+++</p><p>„I'm afraid of all I am, my mind feels like a foreign land. Silence ringing inside my head, please carry me, carry me, carry me home.“</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Gavin came home, a pleasant smell rose to his nose, which drew him into the kitchen. Nines stood at the stove, his back turned to the door, stirring something that looked suspiciously like minestrone. During the last two weeks Gavin had been allowed to find out that Nines was a damn good cook whose skills he claimed with kissing hands.<br/><br/>After the events around Ada, Nines had started to behave strangely - his work got sloppier, he started to have mood swings, he looked...tired. Frustrated.<br/><br/>Fowler had watched the whole thing for exactly three days before deciding to send him on a forced leave of absence indefinitely - much to his dismay. He couldn't stand just sitting around doing nothing while Gavin and Tina pretended they were still pursuing the case.<br/>     For exactly one week Gavin had watched Nines restlessly wandering around the apartment, refusing to finally go into stasis to get some rest, before Gavin finally forced him to tell him what's wrong.<br/>     He had told Gavin that he had to destroy the Zen Garden where he had processed everything in order to wake up from his coma-like state.<br/>     And that it was hard for him to build a new one now.<br/><br/><br/>Gavin wrapped his arms around Nines' torso, pressed his face into the fabric of his - Gavin's - T-shirt and sucked in the familiar scent that was akin to Nines. With a pleasant sigh he strengthened his grip. "Hey, tin can," he said and pressed his lips to the android's shoulder.<br/>     "Welcome home, Gavin," he replied, a smile in his voice. It was pleasantly quiet in the small room for a while, until Nines turned off the stove and pulled the pot off the hotplate.<br/>     "Gavin, it will be necessary to let go of me so I can give you something to eat."<br/>     Gavin made a disapproving sound before burying his face between Nine's shoulder blades. Even as his stomach growled, he made no attempt to move.<br/>"Gavin."<br/>"Hmm?"<br/>"What did you eat today?"<br/><br/>A pause followed in which Gavin did not answer. Nines sighed, plucked Gavin's hands from his body, which had stubbornly clawed into his sides, and turned to the detective, who guiltily looked everywhere except at Nine's face.<br/>     "Gavin, we've talked about this."<br/>     "Yeah, yeah, I know," Gavin replied and hesitantly took a step back. "I've forgotten, okay? No big deal."<br/><br/>He watched as one of Nines' eyebrows moved dangerously close to his hairline. "It's a big deal, Gavin, if me and Tina have to put you back in the hospital for not taking proper care of yourself."<br/>     Gavin didn't know what to say to that, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he let go of Nines, fished a bowl from the cupboard above his head and took some of the minestrone that was still steaming on the stove. Finally he leaned loosely against the counter next to Nines and tried to distract the conversation from his bad eating habits. "How's the garden?" he asked and suppressed a moan of pleasure as he tasted the first spoon of minestrone.<br/>     As he looked back over to his boyfriend, he noticed how he spasmodically clasped his fingers around the edge of the counter and clenched his jaws together. "So no progress, huh?" Gavin stated.<br/>Nines did not respond.<br/><br/>The silence that spread across the room was uncomfortable. It felt wrong to Gavin, to just stand around eating his soup while the LED on Nines' temple glowed an unpleasantly bright red. He put the bowl, which was not even half empty, back on the counter and leaned on the counter on either side of his boyfriend, who had his arms crossed in front of his chest.<br/>     "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly, suppressing a frustrated sound as the android shook his head. "Fine," he said instead, calmer than he felt. "But please don't beat yourself up about it. We'll work it out. I may not be much of a help, but-"<br/>     He was interrupted by warm lips that met his. The kiss was brief, nothing more than a distraction to silence him. Nines had put one hand on Gavin's stubbly cheek and gently ran his thumb over it. "Believe me," he said, affection in his voice. "You are helping more than enough."<br/><br/>Gavin reflected the smile that twitched in the corners of Nines' mouth, took his hand and pressed a kiss into the palm. Then he grabbed his minestrone again, which was probably cold by now, but he didn't care. He pulled Nines by the hand with him.<br/>     "Come on, let's get comfortable."<br/><br/>Hesitantly, Nines followed him into the living room, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he didn't quite understand.<br/><br/><br/>"So, are you going to sleep tonight?" Gavin asked exhausted and put one arm over Nines' torso, using his chest as a pillow. He felt the vibration of the Thyrium-pump at his ear and felt Nines' fingers gently running through his hair. A drowsy smile crept up on his lips and the grip around his boyfriend tightened.<br/>     "I think I'll try," Nines replied softly, but Gavin had already fallen asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Gavin was callously awakened when Nines' Thyrium-pump started beating faster. He looked at the watch on his wrist - 3:24 in the morning - before he noticed the red light radiating from his partner's temple. He pulled his eyebrows together anxiously and braced himself on one of his forearms. Nine's face was distorted, as if in pain.<br/>Alarmed, Gavin tried to shake him awake, sitting up in the process. "Hey, Nines! Hey, wake up!" Nines opened his eyes, pulse racing. A hand clung to Gavin's forearm, surely leaving bruises, but Gavin ignored it. "Shit, what- Nines, you're okay. You're safe. What can I do? Talk to me."<br/>Nines gasped for breath, opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Instead, his grip tightened around Gavin's forearm. "I- can't," he finally pressed out, the same static in his voice as that night in the alley.</p><p>It dawned on Gavin that Nines was having a panic attack.<br/>He could work with that.</p><p>"Shhh," he whispered softly, put his arms around Nines and pulled him into a firm embrace. Nines' hands clawed into the fabric of his T-shirt, trembling desperately. Gavin began gently rocking them back and forth, whispering soothing words into Nines' ear.<br/>     Gavin didn't know how long they sat there like this, but he didn't stop until Nines' LED was no longer bright red but turned a steady yellow.<br/>     "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked with a raspy voice that sounded too loud in the quiet room. It took the android a moment to process the question and when he finally spoke, Gavin was glad that the static in his voice had disappeared.<br/>     "I- I was," he began, a barely audible tremor in his voice. "I was in Amanda's garden."<br/><br/>Gavin's grip tightened. Nines had told him that he went back there whenever he went into stasis, since he had to delete his garden. Back into the blizzard, cold and merciless.<br/>     "I was- I was looking for the emergency exit. And- and I actually found it." He huffed, his eyes focused on a spot next to the door frame, refusing to look at Gavin.<br/>     "But isn't this what you were looking for all along?"<br/>     Every night for the last week, Nines had been trying to find it. And every time he woke up unsuccessfully, his mood was worse than the day before.<br/><br/>"Yes, I- I did, but," Nines stopped, his breath quickened. Gavin placed a kiss on his head and began drawing gentle circles on his back.<br/>     "Easy, love," he said. "No need to rush."<br/>     They just sat there for a few more moments until Nines' breath had calmed down again.<br/><br/>"It... When I found the exit, everything was just... gone. A whole new canvas, white light everywhere and-" Nines closed his eyes, grabbed Gavin's T-shirt even tighter. "Ada was there," he went on. Gavin took a sharp breath, but remained silent. Instead he let Nines continue. "She...talked about my operating system again and- and," a sob came out of the android's throat, desperate and distorted. "I had to delete you again."<br/><br/>The static was back in his voice, causing Gavin to shiver. He felt powerless, unable to help his partner. He felt tears soaking his T-shirt and pressed Nines even tighter against him. "It's okay, tin can, I'm here," he said and stroked the messy strands of hair from his face before pressing a kiss to his forehead. Gavin put two fingers under Nines' chin, forced him to look at him.<br/>     "I'm not going anywhere."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!</p><p>(Feedback and Kudos are always higly appreciated!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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